Long Night
by TheElusiveOllie
Summary: Tim takes care of Jay. Post-#72 experimental piece.
1. Day 1: June 7th

**Day 1: June 7****h**

1:13 AM  
Tim has trouble carrying Jay into the hotel room. Jay is asleep, having crashed at some point during the car ride back. Tim drops him onto one of the beds and tries to cover him with the sheets.

1:14 AM  
Tim gives up on trying to pull the sheets over Jay, who is sprawled awkwardly across the top of the bed. Instead he sits beside him, running his hands through his hair. He doesn't know what to do.

1:15 AM  
Tim realizes Jay is still holding the camera. He gently pulls it out of his hands and puts it on the top of the dresser. Then he stands, completely at a loss of what to do next.

1:16 AM  
Jay starts snoring. Tim goes outside.

1:19 AM  
Tim pulls out a cigarette and lights it. His eyes ache but he doesn't think he could sleep even if he tried. His mind is buzzing. He doesn't really know what happened back at the house and thinking about it just makes his head hurt.

1:25 AM  
Tim goes back inside. Jay is still snoring.

1:26 AM  
Jay continues snoring. Tim goes back outside.

1:29 AM  
Tim considers spending the night outside.

1:31 AM  
Tim starts shivering, gives up, and goes back inside. He tries falling asleep on the other bed.

1:43 AM  
Tim bravely struggles to ignore Jay's snoring.

1:45 AM  
It does not work.

5:36 AM  
Tim wakes up. He doesn't remember falling asleep. He starts panicking when he looks over to Jay and can't see him on the bed. Tim stumbles to his feet.

5:37 AM  
Tim stops panicking when he finds Jay curled up on the floor beside the bed. It looks like he rolled off sometime during the night.

5:38 AM  
Tim considers waking him up to get him back onto the bed. He tries tapping Jay on the shoulder, then shaking him.

5:40 AM  
Jay starts snoring.

5:43 AM  
Frustrated, Tim stops trying to wake Jay and just straight up picks him up and puts him back on the bed. Jay does not wake up. Tim doesn't know whether to be relieved or worried.

5:45 AM  
Jay is still snoring. Tim tries to fall back asleep.

5:46 AM  
It does not work.

6:01 AM  
It finally works. Tim crashes.

6:31 AM  
Tim wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing. He answers blurrily but can only hear incoherent mumbling.

6:32 AM  
Tim realizes the call is from Jay, who is awake and speaking something urgently into his own phone.

6:33 AM  
Tim rescues Jay from his phone. Jay lets out a slurred moan in protest, but when Tim quietly tells him to go back to sleep he conks out almost immediately. Tim returns to trying to sleep.

8:13 AM  
Tim wakes to the sound of the hotel alarm. It's been going off since 8. He shuts it off and reflexively looks for Jay.

8:16 AM  
Jay is still out but has begun to talk in his sleep.

8:23 AM  
Tim starts going through the footage on Jay's camera. He nearly drops it when Jay stops talking in his sleep and starts screaming instead.

8:26 AM  
Jay screams. Tim panics.

8:34 AM  
Tim tells Jay it's going to be okay over and over again, even though he's not even remotely sure it ever will be.

8:35 AM  
Jay stops screaming. He looks exhausted even if he's been asleep all day.

8:54 AM  
Tim doesn't know what else to do, so he returns to going through the footage on the camera.

9:15 AM  
Tim transfers the footage to the laptop. He doesn't like what he saw, but he knows Jay would want the footage kept safe.

9:38 AM  
Tim charges the camera since the battery is nearly dead at this point. Jay sleeps, albeit fitfully. He frowns and mutters occasionally. Tim just hopes he won't start screaming again.

10:01 AM  
Jay stops fidgeting in his sleep and finally calms down. Tim takes advantage of this lull to slip out to get them some food.

10:22 AM  
The nearest gas station is out of beef jerky. Tim wishes he could spare the gas money to look for some. The way Jay had been acting back at the house when...whatever had happened had happened, he could probably do with some protein.

10:49 AM  
Tim re-enters the room and nearly has a heart attack when he sees Jay sprawled on the floor. He looks like he tried to walk but collapsed partway through. Tim is at his side immediately, food forgotten.

10:50 AM  
On closer examination, Jay appears to be awake and letting out a steady stream of slurred expletives.

10:53 AM  
Tim gets Jay to sit on the edge of the bed. He asks Jay what he can remember.

10:54 AM  
Jay considers the question.

10:55 AM  
Jay throws up.

11:17 AM  
Jay continues retching safely in the bathroom. Tim attempts to clean up the mess.

11:25 AM  
The retching has stopped. Tim has had no success.

11:37 AM  
Jay is still in the bathroom. Tim takes a break to check on him only to find that he has somehow managed to fall asleep curled up in the shower.

11:39 AM  
Tim gets Jay back to bed. Still no success in cleaning up the aftermath of Jay's fleeting moment of lucidity.

11:40 AM  
The room has started to smell. Tim goes outside.

11:46 AM  
The room still smells. Tim smokes.

11:53 AM  
Tim wearily goes back inside. Sighs. Someone is going to have to clean up this mess, and the only other candidate is in no condition to do so.

12:02 PM  
Tim resigns himself to the task.

12:39 PM  
The mess is gone but the smell is not. Tim doesn't care.

12:41 PM  
Tim worries that Jay might not ever wake up. He tells himself that those kinds of thoughts are stupid and pointless and won't help.

12:42 PM  
Tim continues to worry.

12:43 PM  
Tim puts his head in his hands.

12:44 PM  
Tim tries not to break down.

12:47 PM  
He fails.


	2. Day 2: June 8th

**Day 2: June 8****th**

4:35 AM  
Tim wakes up to the sound of coughing. He runs to Jay's side, stubbing his toe and swearing profusely in the process.

4:36 AM  
Jay looks like he's convulsing. It looks bad. Tim rolls him onto his side so he doesn't choke but doesn't know what to do next.

4:37 AM  
Jay is still coughing. Tim tries patting him on the back to ease it.

4:38 AM  
Jay continues coughing. Tim fights down a wave of panic. He tries to shake Jay to wake him up, but Jay doesn't respond.

4:40 AM  
Tim doesn't know what to do.

4:43 AM  
Tim starts coughing himself. He grabs his bottle of medication and dry-swallows one of the precious white capsules.

4:44 AM  
Tim has a very bad idea.

4:45 AM  
Tim checks the label on his medication. Coughing, convulsions, and trouble sleeping are among the symptoms listed.

4:47 AM  
Tim clenches his eyes shut, considering the risks versus the benefits.

4:48 AM  
Jay's coughing begins bordering on dry heaves. That makes up Tim's mind.

4:50 AM  
Tim helps Jay sit up. He looks to be semiconscious, still coughing and shaking uncontrollably. Gently, Tim gets Jay to drink some water. That calms him down long enough for Tim to feed him one of his pills.

4:51 AM  
Tim holds his breath.

4:56 AM  
Jay stops coughing, relaxes, and rolls over. His breathing returns to normal.

5:01 AM  
Tim doesn't know whether to be relieved or scared of what he's done. It looks like it worked, but it had been a last resort. He hopes Jay will understand if he wakes up.

5:02 AM  
...when._ When _Jay wakes up.

5:04 AM  
Tim tries to sleep.

8:34 AM  
Tim wakes up. For a minute he wonders what woke him until he realizes that, no, he's just become used to getting up early.

8:36 AM  
Tim checks on Jay. He's still asleep. Tim doesn't know if that's a good thing.

12:54 PM  
Most of the day passes without incident. Jay sleeps. Tim paces. He checks the ToTheArk channel for any news, but there's nothing. He goes over the footage for the third time. It does not make him any less worried or scared.

1:09 PM  
Jay moans loudly and pushes himself sharply into a sitting position. Tim hurries to his side before Jay slips down again. His eyes are unfocused and when he sees Tim moving toward him, he flinches away.

1:10 PM  
Tim freezes. He hates how terrified Jay looks. He doesn't seem to recognize Tim.

1:12 PM  
Tim asks Jay if he remembers anything. He prays that Jay won't throw up this time.

1:13 PM  
Jay demands to know who Tim is. His voice is mumbling and unsteady, but at least he can finally string more than two words together. Tim tells him.

1:14 PM  
Jay considers this.

1:15 PM  
Jay demands to know who 'Jay' is. Tim feels hollow as he tells Jay his own name. Again, he asks Jay what he can remember.

1:17 PM  
Jay demands to know where they are.

1:18 PM  
Tim tells him. Hotel, around the area Alex and him used to live. Alex. _Alex Kralie._ Jay remembers Alex, right?

1:19 PM  
Jay stares blankly ahead. His face puckers into a slight frown before he turns to meet Tim's eyes ponderously.

1:20 PM  
And drops back off.

1:22 PM  
Tim puts his face in his hands.

4:56 PM  
Jay wakes again, making loud, frantic moans. Tim asks him what's wrong.

4:57 PM  
Jay points emphatically at the camera. Tim grabs it and hands it to him.

4:58 PM  
Jay fumbles with the camera until he hits the 'RECORD' button. He scrambles to point the camera at Tim and, again, demands to know who he is.

4:59 PM  
Again, Tim answers. Jay slowly lowers the camera. His assertiveness dies a little as he asks, in a much smaller voice, to know what his _own name_ _is._

5:00 PM  
Before Tim can answer, Jay flails to get up but nearly drops the camera. Tim manages to catch it before it hits the ground. If the camera were to break, Jay would never forgive him. The _real _Jay, anyway.

5:01 PM  
Wherever _the real Jay _has gone.

5:02 PM  
When Tim looks back at Jay, he looks to be only semiconscious.

5:03 PM  
Tim knows it's going to be another long night. Still, the pill he gave Jay earlier seemed to have helped. At least Jay was able to form words, even if he still didn't know where they were or who Tim was or even who _he_ was.

5:04 PM  
Tim pauses, evaluating the options left to him. He doesn't have much medication left for himself, much less to share with Jay. Still, if the pills are helping him get better...

5:11 PM  
Tim makes up his mind. The medication is helping his friend, however slowly. He wishes he could just talk to Jay, tell him why he's doing this. But Jay's hardly in a fit state to give a coherent yes-or-no answer, much less hold an extended conversation.

5:12 PM  
Tim hates that it's come to this, to him basically force-feeding his only friend – _is that what they are? Friends? _– his medication in a desperate attempt to rouse him from...whatever had happened to him back at the house.

5:13 PM  
But Tim doesn't want to be alone.

5:14 PM  
Tim checks the time. It's been over 12 hours since he gave Jay his last – and first – dose.

5:15 PM  
Tim shakes out one of the few pills he has left, considers it.

5:16 PM  
He gently taps Jay on the shoulder. This jerks him out of his state of half-sleep, but it also causes him to flinch and swing an arm to connect painfully with Tim's face.

5:17 PM  
Tim swears and rubs at the assaulted area.

5:18 PM  
When Tim looks up, he finds Jay has shrunk away, eyes wide and terrified. He looks rather like a lost child. Again, Tim thinks about how much he _hates _seeing Jay like this. How much Jay would probably hate it if – _no, when _– he wakes up properly.

5:22 PM  
Somehow Tim gets Jay to take the pill along with a couple of gulps from a water bottle. By the time Tim has returned the bottle of medication to his bag, Jay is passed out again.

5:26 PM  
Tim scrubs a hand across his face, eyelids sagging with weariness. He needs sleep. More specifically, he needs sleep uninterrupted by screams, moans, and/or fits of an unknown and quite frankly scary nature.

5:38 PM  
Tim crashes.

8:45 PM  
Tim wakes up briefly, though he has no idea why. He checks on Jay who is asleep but actually seems to be peaceful for once.

8:46 PM  
Tim reaches for his battered pack of cigarettes, thinks better of it, and decides to go back to bed. The nicotine will just keep him up, and he has enough trouble sleeping as it is.

8:57 PM  
Now restless, Tim goes to check on the YouTube and Twitter accounts on Jay's laptop before he realizes he's locked out of them without any of the passwords. He's too tired to bother trying to override them, so instead he hopes he can grab one or two hours of sleep before something else happens.

9:01 PM  
Tim sleeps. So does Jay.

9:05 PM  
Silence.


	3. Day 3: June 9th

**Day 3: June 9****th**

7:36 AM  
Tim jolts awake at the sound of running water. He finds he has gotten rather good at tearing out of bed in a hurry without tripping over himself.

7:37 AM  
He stumbles to the bathroom, opens the door, and nearly freezes when he sees that Jay has one of the hotel's cheap razor blades clutched in one hand, the blade poised dangerously closed to the patch of his face just beneath his eye.

7:38 AM  
Tim rushes to remove the blade from Jay's hand. As soon as he grabs hold of the other man, Jay's grip on the razor grows slack and he lets Tim help him without resistance.

7:39 AM  
Tim flings the razor savagely into the nearest trashcan and shuts off the running faucet. He grabs Jay with both hands, trying not to yell as he asks, voice shaking with barely suppressed terror, to know _what in the hell he had been doing._

7:40 AM  
Jay mumbles something about how he "need't shave" but his eyes are unfocused. Tim realizes they are both shivering, Tim with barely suppressed terror and Jay with...something else.

7:41 AM  
...something not good.

7:43 AM  
Tim pushes down the feeling of impending dread that has begun to steadily creep over him and guides Jay back to the bed. Jay obediently sits but does not lie down. He looks up at Tim anxiously and asks about his laptop.

7:44 AM  
Tim says his laptop is fine. Jay needs to sleep.

7:45 AM  
Jay does not sleep. He insists that Tim bring him his laptop.

7:46 AM  
Jay becomes so agitated that Tim reluctantly complies. Jay opens it and taps frantically at the keyboard for a few minutes.

7:51 AM  
Jay hands the laptop back to Tim, pointing emphatically at the screen.

7:52 AM  
Tim reads the file he has opened. It's the passwords to his YouTube and Twitter accounts.

7:53 AM  
Tim asks Jay if he's sure he wants to trust Tim with these. Oh, so _now _Jay falls asleep. How he had even been clear-headed enough to know what he was looking for was beyond Tim.

7:54 AM  
Tim has nothing else to do and he certainly isn't going back to sleep anytime soon. He opens Jay's editing program and loads the footage from Alex's house onto it.

8:17 AM  
Tim begins editing the footage. _'Entry #72.'_

8:45 AM  
Tim takes a break to check on Jay. Jay has begun to toss and turn again.

8:47 AM  
Tim checks the time. It's been over 12 hours since he gave Jay his last dose, but he hasn't slipped into danger territory yet.

8:48 AM  
Would keeping the dosages regular hurt or help Jay in the long run?

8:49 AM  
_Fuck_ if Tim knows.

8:50 AM  
Tim decides to wait and see if Jay becomes visibly distressed before giving him another pill. So far, nothing.

9:01 AM  
Tim returns to editing the footage.

9:05 AM  
Re-watching it makes his stomach twist. Whatever happened to Jay at the house, it could not be good. His..._fit_ is a little too reminiscent of Tim's own experiences.

9:06 AM  
Tim shoots Jay an uncomfortable glance. Perhaps he _should _give Jay the pill, just to be safe.

9:07 AM  
He pictures Jay's reaction to finding out about Tim giving him his own medication, remembers how fiercely Jay denied having any mental or medical problems at all, and decides against it.

9:08 AM  
For now, anyway.

9:10 AM  
The footage is badly corrupted and distorted, but Tim cannot do anything to fix it. He remembers Jay complaining about how much of a pain it was to edit some of the entries when he could hardly see for all the static fuzzing up the lens.

9:26 AM  
Tim thinks he understands Jay's frustration. He definitely feels a headache coming on.

9:31 AM  
Tim wonders idly if he could pick up some pain medication. He's never felt what it's like to have it mix with his prescription.

9:32 AM  
Immediately after the thought crosses his mind, Tim realizes that is a _really_ fucking horrible idea.

9:33 AM  
Tim also realizes that he has not eaten since yesterday. Pain medication might be a no, but he knows he and Jay need to get food in their systems.

10:13 AM  
Tim returns from the nearest gas station, successful in his mission of filling the tank and getting some food. The plastic bag contains the most protein-rich things he could find – namely trail mix, beef jerky, and a couple protein bars that actually look semi-digestible.

10:16 AM  
Tim shakes Jay carefully awake and hands him one of the protein bars, urging him to eat. He turns back to the laptop to continue putting the entry together.

10:23 AM  
When Tim looks back at Jay, he's holding the unwrapped bar awkwardly as if he doesn't quite know what to do with it.

10:24 AM  
Tim unwraps the bar for Jay and hands it back. Jay stares blankly at it.

10:25 AM  
Tim asks Jay if he's hungry. Jay just stares back at him.

10:27 AM  
Tim starts getting frustrated. He asks Jay if he remembers how to eat.

10:28 AM  
Jay finally takes a cautious bite. He chews thoughtfully for a minute, then starts eating with...well, not quite _gusto, _but at least he's getting some food down.

10:29 AM  
Jay finishes the protein bar. He sits up on the edge of the bed but does not get up. Tim watches him nervously. Jay does nothing but stare numbly ahead.

10:31 AM  
Tim is unsure of what to do to help him, so he turns back to the laptop. Jay would want the entry up as soon as possible. Maybe someone watching would know what to do to help. It is a ridiculous hope, a far-fetched hope, but Tim does not know what else to do. And, really, who else do they have to turn to?

10:35 AM  
Rustling behind Tim tells him Jay has moved. He looks back and is startled to see that Jay is walking, movements dull and zombielike, toward the door.

10:36 AM  
Tim runs at him, grabs his shoulders, and quickly guides him back to the bed.

10:37 AM  
Jay mumbles something angrily, but it's too muddled for Tim to make much sense of it. He tells Jay to lie down and close his eyes.

10:38 AM  
Jay grunts out something that sounds uncomfortably close to _"fuck you"_ but Tim ignores it. He's not in the right mind.

10:39 AM  
...he hopes.

10:40 AM  
Once Tim is certain that Jay won't go wandering off again, Tim goes back to editing.

11:13 AM  
Tim has finished editing the entry.

11:14 AM  
Well, he hopes he has, anyway.

11:16 AM  
Tim hastily tweets that he'll upload the entry tomorrow. It feels strange to be doing the job that Jay has always insisted he do himself.

11:19 AM  
Tim begins rendering the entry out of Jay's editing program. It's a good thing he said he'd upload the entry tomorrow, because the loading bar looks like it's going to take at least until tomorrow to finish.

12:39 PM  
Tim paces around the hotel room. He doesn't want to leave Jay but he doesn't think he can stand being confined by four walls any longer. He's had enough of that for a lifetime.

12:41 PM  
Tim breathes a sigh of relief as he steps outside, even for only a minute. His hand lingers over his pack of cigarettes. As stressed as he's been, looking after Jay has kept him far too busy to smoke for a while.

12:43 PM  
Every thought of smoking flees from Tim's head when the room door opens and Jay stumbles out, blinking at the brightness of the light.

12:44 PM  
Tim demands to know what Jay's doing. Jay looks at Tim, puzzled, but says nothing.

12:45 PM  
Again, Tim steers his friend back to the bed.

12:46 PM  
Tim ignores Jay as, in heavily slurred words, he challenges Tim to a game of Twister.

12:47 PM  
Tim gets Jay to sit back down. He asks him if he's hungry, but Jay shakes his head and points at the camera.

12:48 PM  
Tim does not give him the camera.

12:49 PM  
Jay grows more and more upset, reaching desperately for the camera.

12:50 PM  
Tim doesn't know what else to do, so he gives Jay one of his pills and a glass of water and says he'll give him the camera once he takes the pill.

12:51 PM  
Jay immediately obliges.

12:55 PM  
Jay passes out a little while after the pill takes effect. The amount of sleep Jay is getting is probably not a good indication of his mental state, but Tim simply does not know what else to do to help.

12:57 PM  
Tim feels slimy, horrible, that he essentially just blackmailed his friend, his friend who is still in a mentally compromised state.

12:59 PM  
Tim hates himself.

1:00 PM  
He did not think it was possible for him to hate himself any more than he already did.

1:01 PM  
He was wrong, it seems.

1:23 PM  
Tim is exhausted and sick from self-loathing, so he sleeps and hopes his lingering guilt will not infect his dreams.

4:56 PM  
It did anyway. He wakes up with vivid flashes of his dreams. Or nightmares, rather. Nothing distinct lingers in his memory, just a vague sense of unpleasantness and iron dread.

4:58 PM  
Tim musters the energy to get up and check on Jay. Tim's medication has worked so far; he looks like he's actually gotten some undisturbed sleep.

5:06 PM  
Restless, Tim gets up to check on the entry. It's still rendering out on Jay's laptop.

5:08 PM  
There is nothing left to do but Tim itches with the biting _need _to _do_ something, to _move. _He wrings his hands, taps his foot, runs his fingers anxiously through his hair. He casts frequent glances Jay's way, hoping his jitters are not infectious.

5:15 PM  
Again, the sensation of being enclosed in four walls becomes unbearable.

5:16 PM  
Tim steps outside, exhales. He rubs a hand over his face and is startled at how tired his face must look_. _He has not shaved in several days, too preoccupied over his friend's faltering state. He cannot bring himself to admit that he does not trust his own hands with a razor, not currently.

5:17 PM  
Tim knows his weariness is painted plain on his face, evident in the dark circles beneath his eyes and the lines of worry furrowing his brow. Damn, he can just _feel_ the aching weight of night upon night of broken sleep, fragmented dreams, never finding ease for his jangling, frayed nerves.

5:18 PM  
Tim's hand clenches into a fist. He just wants it to be _over, _no more running. He almost punches the wall of the room out of pure rage and frustration, but the thought that the noise might wake Jay halts him.

5:24 PM  
Tim returns to the room and sits in the stiff desk chair. He is tense, unable to sleep, so he watches Jay.

5:37 PM  
Tim whispers an apology to his friend.

5:38 PM  
Jay is still asleep and does not hear it.

5:39 PM  
Tim props up his chin on the heel of one hand. He cannot sleep, so he might as well be useful. He will watch over his friend and keep him safe.


	4. Day 4: June 10th

**Day 4: June 10****th**

8:09 AM  
Tim is stiff, limbs cramped and aching from an uncomfortable night spent in a chair. He stands and stretches. He hurts all over.

8:11 AM  
Jay is sitting up, blinking blearily. He does not say anything, but Tim immediately goes to his side.

8:12 AM  
Tim asks Jay how he feels. Jay stares right back at Tim, expression blank. No flickers of recognition, no fear, nothing. It's as if he's...empty.

8:13 AM  
_Not empty, _Tim tells himself, stomach twisting. He asks Jay again. Again, no response.

8:14 AM  
With no other ideas, Tim retrieves his medication and shakes out one of the pills for himself. Jay is awake and functioning, looking about with at least a relatively clear gaze, which is more promising than anything he's done before. Perhaps this is a good sign? Tim anxiously hopes so. He is low enough on medication as it is without having to share with Jay.

8:15 AM  
Tim hands Jay a plastic bottle of stale water and a couple pieces of beef jerky. He cannot imagine they will taste very good, but Jay has not eaten since yesterday morning and needs to keep functioning.

8:16 AM  
Jay holds the water and jerky slack in his hands. He does not take his gaze from Tim and he does not blink.

8:17 AM  
Tim shudders. It's a little creepy.

8:18 AM  
No, scratch that; it's _very _creepy.

8:19 AM  
Tim urges Jay to eat. Jay continues to stare and does not respond.

8:22 AM  
The water bottle falls from Jay's hands, his grip having slackened enough to let it drop. The jerky follows, untouched.

8:23 AM  
Tim is more than a little freaked out at this point as he picks the mess off the floor. Jay does not want to eat – fine. Tim grabs at his bottle of pills to give Jay one because the stare is quite frankly giving Tim chills at this point.

8:25 AM  
Then, quite unexpectedly, Jay stands and starts walking. His movements are sharp and purposeful, nothing like the zombie-shuffle he got by with the days before.

8:26 AM  
Tim tries to get Jay to sit back down but Jay only tilts his head a little then pushes him away, hard. The unexpected aggression sets off all of Tim's alarms. Jay's acting a _little_ too much like...

8:27 AM  
_...like..._

8:28 AM  
Jay rummages through the hotel's desk drawers, a steadily mounting agitation now coloring his movements. He pulls out a pen and a pad of paper, triumphant, and begins scribbling furiously.

8:30 AM  
Tim, valiantly trying to recover from his state of shock, abruptly remembers what Jay's odd, twitching movements remind him of.

8:31 AM  
_Himself._ Or rather, his masked counterpart.

8:32 AM  
The air gets very cold.

8:33 AM  
A vague sense of unreality creeps over Tim. He can feel himself trembling.

8:34 AM  
Pills. Pills. _Jay needs the pills._

8:35 AM  
_Now._

8:36 AM  
Tim snatches the bottle back up – having dropped it when Jay shoved him – and pours one of the pills into his hand.

8:37 AM  
Tim seizes Jay from behind, clapping the hand with the pill over his mouth. Jay struggles viciously and elbows Tim repeatedly in the stomach. Winded, Tim struggles for breath. Jay might be wiry but he's _strong._

8:38 AM  
Tim is stronger. At some point the pill goes down because Jay's struggles grow weaker and he calms down considerably. He crumples to the ground. Tim goes down with him until he's kneeling with the semiconscious Jay awkwardly cradled against him. He is asleep.

8:45 AM  
With a lot of grunting and dragging, Tim manages to get Jay back to the bed.

8:46 AM  
Tim backs away immediately after he is certain Jay is out. He can feel himself shaking still, badly. The adrenaline is fading, leaving Tim cold.

8:47 AM  
Tim wants to hit something. Fuck, he wants to hit _himself._

8:48 AM  
Bile rises in the back of Tim's throat and he stumbles to the bathroom.

9:13 AM  
Tim slumps against the wall of the cramped shower, dizzy and exhausted. His stomach is still roiling, but whether that's from Jay's attack or from his own seething self-hatred he cannot say. He's already retched up what little he's eaten in the past few days. All that's left is dry heaves and the slow-burning pit of horror eating away at his chest.

9:15 AM  
Fuck.

9:16 AM  
Fuck fuck _fuck._

9:17 AM  
Just when Tim thought he couldn't possibly hate himself any _more_.

9:20 AM  
He just forced his friend to take medication.

9:21 AM  
_He just forced his friend to take medication._

9:22 AM  
_He just forced his out-of-it, unable-to-consent friend to take unprescribed medication._

9:23 AM  
He could try and justify it all he wanted but he didn't want to.

9:25 AM  
It makes him feel sick.

9:26 AM  
Sicker than he already was, anyway.

9:29 AM  
_oh hell he was going to be sick again wasn't he_

9:46 AM  
Tim rinses his face with cold water, hoping that that dash of unpleasantness is finally over. His shoulders sag, his eyes itch, and his head burns with a steady, stabbing pain.

9:50 AM  
He checks on Jay. Still asleep.

9:51 AM  
The memory Jay's impassive face causes Tim to shiver.

9:52 AM  
If that's what Tim looks like when he turns into...that _other thing, _then no wonder Jay gets freaked out just bringing it up.

9:54 AM  
Tim wonders if he could grab an hour or so of sleep. Exhaustion slams into him now, and he hopes it is stronger than the tautness in his limbs and the nagging fears that have been so successful in keeping him awake.

10:49 AM  
It was. Tim wakes up slowly, feeling marginally more rested than he did this morning.

10:56 AM  
Tim checks on Jay. No change.

10:57 AM  
Tim honestly does not know whether to be worried or relieved at this.

10:58 AM  
_Fuck. _He just feels so _lost. _Tim always hated being alone. It reminds him of even less pleasant times, when his only company had been -

10:59 AM  
On second thought, Tim shouldn't think about that.

11:00 AM  
Jay might be in the same room, but Tim still feels horribly alone.

11:01 AM  
After all, who was to say that Jay would ever come back?

11:02 AM  
The thought scares the hell out of him.

11:04 AM  
Tim remembers the pad of paper Jay had been writing on when..._whatever had happened_ had happened to him.

11:05 AM  
Tim goes to check it.

11:06 AM  
And immediately wishes he hadn't.

11:07 AM  
It's that _symbol, _the hastily drawn circle with a large "X" slashed through it. The dreadful familiarity of that stupid, simple thing – not to mention what it represents – sends yet more chills through him.

11:09 AM  
Tim throws the pad away. He doesn't want to think about that just now. He doesn't want any reminders of what's haunting them, what they're running from.

11:11 AM  
Tim wishes he could talk to someone, but the only someone available is currently crashed out on a hotel bed with only a very small possibility of being remotely coherent anytime soon.

11:34 AM  
Tim remembers the entry. In the rush of this morning's events, Tim had forgotten to check it.

11:35 AM  
The file has fully rendered out. Tim recalls Jay's password and logs into the YouTube channel.

11:46 AM  
_Upload._

11:50 AM  
It's a big file, so the loading is going to take a while. Jay would probably know how to crop it down, which bits were the important ones and which could be trimmed out.

11:52 AM  
Tim wonders fleetingly why he's even bothering with this. Who the hell would even _care _what happened to them? If Tim canceled the upload right now, deleted the footage, and just let the channel go dark, would anyone actually _care?_ Would anyone do anything but wonder idly why no videos had gone onto the channel in quite a while?Would anyone even spare a thought to what had happened to "J" and Alex Kralie, a college friend of his?

11:53 AM  
If Tim is honest, the answer is _probably not. _

11:54 AM  
But Jay would want him to upload the footage, so he does.

11:55 AM  
_Because Jay would want him to._

12:13 PM  
Tim drums his fingers against the side of the laptop. He does not know what to do to fill his time. His hand hovers briefly over his phone. Perhaps he could try talking to one of the thousands of people following them, tweeting them or messaging them or whatever, asking them what they thought he should do.

12:14 PM  
But Tim remembers that, no, none of them would really _care. _

12:15 AM  
So he doesn't.

1:24 PM  
Jay wakes up briefly to ask Tim where he put the goldfish.

1:25 PM  
Tim tells Jay that they don't have any goldfish.

1:26 PM  
Jay nods and says, "Of _course," _as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, then falls back asleep.

1:43 PM  
Tim checks the entry's loading progress. It's slow going.

2:01 PM  
Tim checks the ToTheArk channel for updates. There's nothing.

2:05 PM  
Tim remembers that sometimes ToTheArk would hack into Jay's Twitter to leave cryptic messages. He could do with a distraction, even if that distraction was irritatingly obscure puzzles of numbers and letters.

2:06 PM  
Nothing. Tim isn't surprised, but he isn't relieved either.

2:07 PM  
The fact that he isn't relieved makes Tim feel like there's a whole new layer of _wrong _with him.

2:08 PM  
Tim re-checks the entry progress. He's starting to get anxious again. Lovely.

2:10 PM  
Tim checks their supplies. He wonders if he should try to get him and Jay moving once the entry is uploaded. That would certainly be safer; staying here too long would only make it easier for Alex to find them.

2:11 PM  
The thought is not a happy one.

2:12 PM  
But, then again, Tim doesn't know if it's really safe to move Jay in this state. The thought of driving with him in the backseat is more than a little terrifying, especially considering what had just happened this morning.

2:14 PM  
But they had made that agreement, to always stay on the move, to never remain in one place for too long, for a reason. Of course, that had been _before _Jay had collapsed and…whatever was happening to him had set in.

2:17 PM  
Tim wouldn't normally have so much trouble making decisions except that this decision does not affect just him.

2:18 PM  
Tim goes outside.

2:21 PM  
Tim starts worrying about Jay and goes back inside.

2:22 PM  
Jay has not moved.

2:23 PM  
Tim wonders if he has time to drive…somewhere, anywhere that isn't a cramped hotel room.

2:24 PM  
No, he probably doesn't.

2:25 PM  
So he stays.

4:02 PM  
Tim stops being listless long enough to check the entry loading progress. It's done.

4:03 PM  
Heart in his mouth, Tim tweets the link. He wonders if anyone will care.

4:04 PM  
He decides not to hold onto hope.

4:05 PM  
After all, Tim is used to being disappointed.


End file.
